She was depressed.

She sat in her bathroom. Her head in her hands, her eyes closed. She sobbed. The sadness was overwhelming; she actually felt a sense of grief, almost tangible, engulfing her very being. She felt the energy drain from her frail body, her back stooped.

She lifted her head from her hands and opened her eyes. The lights were hurting them. She paused, then looked to her right, opened the bathroom closet, and grabbed some small nail scissors from a familiar clutch. She tossed it around her hand for some time. Then, she pressed its edges against her thighs, and tugged. It was silly, she knew.

She scraped the sharp ends across a little patch on her thigh softly. She repeated, slowly. She watched as her skin reddened, but she did not stop. No, consumed in her unhappiness, she continued. She sensed pain, ache, inside. Her heart hurt. She was sad. . ‘Die’, she whimpered. ‘Die, die, die.’ Her emotions grew, her scratches too, stronger and harder, and she sadder, and angrier. Her heart pounded as her scratching turned to stabbing.

‘Die! Why don’t you fucking die!’ she moaned, her chest heaving with misery.  It was starting to hurt, she could sense the pain in her thigh. ‘Die! Die! You deserve it! You fucking deserve it! DIE!’ she cried.  She abraded her skin until she could no more. ‘Why won’t you just die?!’ she wept. Then, she stopped stabbing, letting go of the scissors from her hands. She was crying. ‘Why won’t you die.’ she sighed with tears masking her face. She sat there, still, for a while.

She stopped crying. She felt weak, in the face. Exhausted. She got up, looked at her miserable miserable face in the mirror. Such beauty, marred. Eyeliner stained her soft cheeks. She wiped it away, she washed her face. Looked again in the mirror, and left the bathroom.

Into the living room she went, and smiled, at her family. ‘Hey!’ she said, sincerely casually. Her thigh burnt.

         It’s ever so sad, isn’t it?


Pestering Sales Assistants.

Don’t you hate it when you enter a store, just looking, for nothing in particular, when the sales assistant hovers around you, suggesting products (more like shoving-down-your-throat products), offering to show you the latest despite -in spite- of your clear disinterest, hounding you, badgering, and wait, this isn’t even the worse part yet, you tell them, very clearly, that you’re just looking, but no, they wouldn’t leave you in peace, they stay, they linger at your throat, watching you, pouncing at you every time you grab a product in your hand, and when they just wont plain f*cking budge?!

It annoys me, in fact it discourages me from going into that particular store altogether. This happens mostly and probably only (for me at least) in beauty/make up stores. Ya3ny I’m just looking dude, go away, I don’t want your help! Surely, they can be helpful and all, but you haven’t seen what I’m talking about, I’m pretty sure this only happens in Arab beauty stores (with only Arab assistants, unfortunately), since when abroad, I’m yet to see this phenomena, at least not to this extent.

Said sales assistant has kilos upon kilos (well, maybe grams, but still!) of make up packed on her face, you could actually see a whole layer of stuff residing on the surface, and this very person is expected to guide you to pick your make-up; advising, suggesting, recommending, yet for some unbeknown reason, she fails to do so for herself.

And it’s not even the hypocritical faces that bug me, it’s just how so uncomfortable they make me feel, and how they do not understand when you say NO.

This one time in Sephora, a lady practically raped my face with some Benetint, I mean, imagine, she offered, heck she didn’t, she just forced it upon me, I had told her ‘No thanks -don’t wanna try it’, yet she still found the need to paint my face with it (all upon my disapproval and continuous and increasing-in-pitch ‘No thank you’s’). She was the Benefit sales assistant, and was obviously being commissioned and so utterly biased. I go looking for some mascara from another counter, but no, she comes and drags me back to get some Benefit mascara. Again, I move onto another counter, this time for some cream blush, but hey what do you know, the Benefit blushes (not even cream) are better, so yep, she lugs me back. Lucky for her I like Benefit.

I don’t know if I’m the only one who feels this way. Is it me who doesn’t know what to say, or is it them that are out of line? Beats me.
Nothing! 🙂

Those tunes in the back of your head


You know when there’s some tune going on in the back of your head, you can heart it – sorta, and it just goes over and over, the song is ‘stuck in your head’? But do you know when it’s just a lyricless tune, when it’s just a melody, and you can’t make out which song it is? And do you know how you can’t just get over it, you’d have to auto-replay the song in your head, hum to it, make up lyrics for it, until you pin down which song it is? I got that today.

All morning, I was like ‘mhm mhmmmhmm caaaaantryyyy’, ‘mhmmm mhmmmm caaantry’.

I kinda like when that happens, because I know that I’ll figure out which song it is, and when I get close to ‘solving the song’ I so know it, I can feel it, like I know that in a few seconds I’ll  ‘ha! got it!’ and I just smile as I hum out the song.

This time it was The Smiths’ Ask Me.

Mhm mhmmmm turned out to be nature is a language, and

caaantryyy  turned out to be can’t you read? I laughed. It was so close haha!

I was smiling, it was getting close, the tune was on repeat in my head, ‘mhhmm mhhmmm’ ‘caaantry’ mhhhm ‘mhhhm caantry’ ‘cant you read!’ ‘The smiths! HA!



OK, bye!

Blink 182 – Up All Night


Have you heard Blink 182’s new single, Up All Night? It was out only a few days ago, it was meant to be released on July 1st. Their album should be released this summer too.

I personally quite like the song. I’ve read some comments saying that they’d prefer the older Blink 182, but to be honest I think this song sums up Blink 182 pretty well. I am by no means a music critic, and definitely not in a position to judge their more recent stuff (since I only have their ‘old school’ stuff anyway), but this latest single, I feel, is so them.

The chorus is what makes it so Blink 182 for me, with Tom DeLonge’s very distinct voice. Just like ‘I Miss You’‘s ‘Don’t waste your time on me you’re already the voice inside my y’ead’, and ‘All of this’‘s ‘Use me Holly come on and use me’. 

I mean, sure nothing beats their 1999 and early 2000 shizz, but this ain’t bad, not the best maybe, but not bad for sure, at least in my opinion.

Click this to hear it.

So, what do you think?

My tagline


My tagline seems off and not so catchy, but it’s part of my tagline-legacy, with the same tagline for all my fantasies, which hopefully, one day, will become a reality!

You see, I decided to open a make up store earlier this year, and as I was conversing with my friend as to what to call it, we somehow came up with : The make up store where you buy make up from. Which I thought was  cool. Then, it evolved to: The make up store where you buy make up from, The make up store where you buy make up from. The former being the name of the shop, and the latter being the tagline. I could so imagine a soothing voice stating the name and then proceeding to the tag-line with a change of tone, like on a TV ad or something. I also picture the store bags with the tagline written in a fancy italic font under it’s identical title. aah.

Then, I also decided to open a furniture store, which, you guessed it, would be called, The furniture store where you buy furniture from, the furniture store where you buy furniture from.

I want to open a nursery as well, this actually being one of my first more-serious fantasies, before I decided I was more passionate about make up, than kids. I think I’ll name it : The nursery where you drop your kids off at, the nursery where you drop your kids off at. Although, I don’t really like that. Maybe ‘Nursery‘ would cut it?

If you think this is over-ambitious, you should see what I was planning to do in 6th/7th grade. And the funny thing is, I was completely completely serious about it all, I think I may post on that sometime.

Anyways … nothing!

   The make up store where you buy make up from

The make up store where you buy make up from


The furniture store where you buy furniture from

The furniture store where you buy furniture from


What to do with life?


At school, one of the most common questions is ‘What do you want to do when you grow up?’ or ‘What would you like to study?’. I’ve never known how to answer those questions. I didn’t know what I wanted to study and as a result I didn’t know what I wanted to do later on in life. People would say just do what you like, but what if I don’t know what I like? This struck me when I was deciding on my AS subject for Year 12, I wasn’t sure which subjects I enjoyed, which I hated, and which I was neutral about. I ended up picking 3 different subjects to widen my choices once I do know what I want.

So, I’m just trying to say that I’d love to have a set path, know where I’m going, have something to want to wake up for everyday, instead of nothing’ing all year.

Anyhow, now I’m left with this question, what do with life? ‘Getting on with it’ doesn’t seem to cut it anymore.